Sunday, September 17, 2017

Swan riders - for Marc with love



for Marc from the swan riders 

(c)merimaat 16 September 2107.

Saturday, September 16, 2017

Marc the poet who loved to boogie and me the one who loves to boogie


The 16th of September 1977 is a day I will never forget, it was the day my heart completely broke. It was the day that Marc Bolan passed to the millions of years! His doing so was so very painful and I cried for a week afterwards and even now dread the 16th of September coming around. I could try to give logical reasons for my feeling this way, but the truth is I can not and all I can do is say that I loved Marc and still do.

Marc came into my life when I was very much the troubled teen, lost in a world that I hated and didn't understand, that was filled with pain that I was venting in anger. I had nothing and all that I had could be taken from me, to be honest I didn't want to live at all. I have said it many times and will keep saying it Marc saved my life and saved the Kev part of me that survives to this day. This was the part that could be loving, caring, etc, more importantly honest, but that would take another 30 years for that to happen fully.  Ride a white swan I loved from the moment I heard it and still do to this day, but it wasn't this or Hot Love or Get it On or Jeepster or any of the other hits (apart from I love to Boogie which I will go into later) it was Life's a Gas. This is the B side of Jeepster and on Electric Warrior, it is a song about heart break and carrying on, because life is a gas, worth living. It wasn't the traditional love song, but one that only a poet could write as it was full of imaginary, words put together, that crept into my soul and the music that calmed the mind to allow them to do so.

Marc the poet is best shown on the album T.Rex aka Hifly2  it is very beautiful poetry put to music and sang simply in his unique way.  Electric Warrior when everything fell into place Marc the Rock and Roller, and Poet . Slider the follow up to Electric Warrior was the T.Rex album, the one where everything was in place. In honesty, as he admitted, the next albums were  not up to that standard, but Marc never did anything that was really awful and there are gems on each of his albums. Teenage Dream is one example of this. It was only really on Dandy in the Underworld did Marc really return to his best, the real gem on that being I love to Boogie.

Marc the star is shown on all his singles, and if the a side wasn't that good there was always something special on the b side. I love the b sides more that the a sides in some cases songs like Lady and Thunderwing. My favourite single Marc did, was I love to Boogie, because it is one of those songs that makes you feel good and want to boogie and rather than the gentle warmth of Life's a Gas this is very much my song now.

His film Born to Boogie,  for  which he  famously forgot to write the title track for (it was on the b side of Solid Gold Easy Action) wasn't for anyone other than we fans and we loved every moment of it and more so, because the critics hated it. It was made at the height of Bolanmaina or T.Rexacy when he could do no wrong in our eyes.

I did love Marc the rock star, in his pomp his tunes the twinkle in his eye. I had thousands of his pictures on my walls and everywhere. He was very much my "god" that I worshipped, loved with a fever matched by any cult member.Yet it was not blind love and as  I grew the glitter fell from my eyes and I saw very much the man, a human not a god and that made me love him even more. I say that, because for all his imperfections Marc had retained the essential Marc, for all the fantasy, behind the glitter, beyond the superstar, he was just Marc a poet who loved to boogie. I think we all saw that and that was probably unique about him, he was one of us and that meant just that one of us.

An honest assessment is that just before he passed, Marc was trying too hard to get back to his best, but was failing. He had become almost a very poorly drawn cartoon character of what he was. T.Rex, Marc, Mickey, Steve, and Bill, were replaced by Marc and some others and Marc looked and sounded lost. Yes I watched the Marc shows, because it was him, but also with sadness, because it wasn't him and apart from a few gems, Marc never regained the heights of the earlier times. In honesty, I think and feel Marc only had so much to give and by 1977 he'd have given it. It might be cold to say it, but it would have been heart breaking to see him carrying on now, trying to recapture T.Rextascy as I don't think he ever could have done so. While others could do it Marc was essentially the poet child who never grew up and never could do and perhaps was never meant to do so.

Some just believe still Marc was all about ego, but that is not true, he was special and he knew it and everyone who ever met him saw that in him. We fans knew it and now other generations are knowing it as well. While his great friend David Bowie would go on reinventing himself, have other egos, Marc couldn't for Marc was his own creation. Yet who knows what might have happened if Marc had lived?

I will cry my tears, tears of sadness that Marc never reached my age and thinking about him being 70 this year. Sadness that his son never really knew him nor ever really knew how much he meant to so many of us. Tears of thanks, because of Life's a Gas gave me the will to carry on until I could really Boogie as Kev. After these tears I will dry my eyes, play I love to Boogie as I do every year and  remember him as I know Marc wants to be remembered - The poet who loved to Boogie and still is in the millions of years.

Wednesday, September 13, 2017

My Linux Mint journey 7 days on

So it is now 7 days since I started using Linux Mint, it may be a bit longer, many be 8 days. So here are my experiences with it.

Firstly, I have learnt one important lesson - Never buy stuff off ebay for it, because while it might not cost you much, the reason for that is that it doesn't work or isn't (as I've since found out ) needed.  The best place to get any Linux Distro as they are called, is from the internet. There is a lot of them out there so take your time and look at them and look at the reviews they get. There are so many places to look, but google helps. Once you choose the one you like, don't just plunge into it, just down load it. Once you have done that you need to burn it using an ISO, you can do this either onto a disk or the better way a USB. This is very easy to do.

Once you have done this you can try it out. You just boot your system, to the USB and do the Live test. This is a functioning copy of the Linux you have done and it allows you to do check it out and see if you like it. I Did this and liked Mint so much that I wanted to change to it as my OS. Now you can do this either as a clean install or you can partition your drive as Mint is made to run like this. You don't have worry about this as the install does it for you. I chose to remove Windows completely as I was peed off with it. Before doing that I did a back up in case anything went wrong and made sure I had a copy of Windows so I could reinstall. Having done that I went ahead and did the clean install.

Once it was installed I started to copy what I needed from my back up across to Mint again this was very easy to do, well kind of as you have to go through the back up to find the correct things and not just the back up files! However once I had that, I found that I could open and use most of the things I had on windows right away.

Lesson number 2: There are somethings that don't work as well until you get them sorted! When I tried to open somethings like my sol suite it didn't work, but Mint comes with Wine which allows you to install windows things, just be careful how you use it as you could open yourself up to nasties. Now the biggest frustrations I have had is with my documents. Mint comes with Libre office and while it seems okay, it didn't open some documents as well. This is when I sought out an alternative and came across more problems! Don't bother doing it, just use Libre for new documents and if you need the other documents just print them off or if you need to edit them using windows then if your drive is partitioned just use that or if you have another pc with windows on then use that. There must be other ways to solve this but I am still new so learning.

Now learning, well basically Mint is very user friendly so there isn't much to learn, but there are things that are different or you want to change them. I hate Firefox and after bit of looking I discovered that Google Chrome was a good browser to use so I have done so and am delighted. The Linux community on line is great and there is a lot of simple answers out there. I have joined a Linux forum and the help given to me has been great. Remember that you're having to unlearn much of windows and that will take some time, but it has been my experience that you don't HAVE to know everything about Mint to use it so just get on with it and enjoy the experience of doing so.

If you want to know more there are free books that you can download or even buy if you want to do, but don't be in a rush which it the most important lesson I have learnt in this week.

My journey has been mostly smooth with few bumps, but with a lot less swearing than Aly normally gets when Windows does something like endless updates. It is just the start of my journey, but it is one that I am no hurry to conclude. 7 days on I can honestly say I am as happy or even happier using Mint as I was with Windows 7, but now I feel I have control not microsoft and that has got to be a good thing.

Tuesday, September 05, 2017

Windows - No thanks I've switched Linux Mint

I don't know about you, but I really got pissed off with Windows 10 constantly updating and fucking things up. For example a month ago I could play all my music, which I've paid for and then suddenly windows does an update I can't. It wants to force you into using its things which you don't need as what you have works perfectly. Then you lose files and the Office that you purchased at great expense suddenly isn't supported and rather than a one-off payment they want you to subscribe !! Well fuck that I have other things to spend my money on.

As for FireFox, well I started using it when it first came out and it was a great browser. Then rather than an update every year or so which improved things they now fuck it up as much as Windows have.

So I started looking around and reading up on things. I had heard of Linux, but it always seemed too tecky for me as I am not that good, but reading up I saw that it was becoming easier for us no teckies to use. After looking at some of them I went for the one that seemed to me quite easy to use, which is Linux Mint.

Now the good thing with Linux is that they have what they call a "live" addition, that is one you can try before installing. So I tried it and liked what I saw, it was as easy to use as Windows 7 had been (sigh the wonderful windows 7 the last OS from Microsoft that made sense). Okay there are things that are different, but not vastly and you can soon get around them and if not then there is help readily available for you.

Having done the above I did a full back up of the Windows and made sure that I had my security of the Windows stick incase I need to reinstall and went ahead and took the plunge and installed Mint. Mint is made so you can switch between it and another OS like Windows - duel booting it's called.  Very easy and quick to do less than half an hour. And there you go.

I am getting used to it now and still finding my way around, even with my brain foggs that is easier to do than Windows has become. Frustrations have mainly been caused because of DRM and finding where my photos are on the back up that I made to transfer across, but even here I am slowly working my way through. I also didn't like that it came with Firefox, but it is easy to switch to whatever browser you like. One strange thing is that you don't need a virus protection! Yep that is the advice that is out there, but no doubt in time this will change. It has a firewall which you have to turn on as it isn't by default. You can run windows programmes in it thanks to extensions, talking about which there are thousands for you and all mostly free! Oh yes and it comes with built in Office Suite as well which you can use and transfer your documents form MS office to.

So thus far I am happy with having made the change. Will I go back to Windows? That I very much doubt, but if I need to do so then I have left things so I can.

So if like me you're fed up with Windows then perhaps Linux would be a good choice for you, from what I am told millions are switching off Microsoft as it has stopped doing what it was best at making good friendly OS without all the crap. Oh and the very best thing about it is that it is Mint is free although it would be good to make a donation as I am doing so.

Wednesday, August 30, 2017

Myalgic Encephalomyelitis I am not your prisoner

What not another on    Myalgic Encephalomyelitis, well yes, because some one asked me what it was like living with it. So I have entitled this as above. 

Imagine for a moment, you have flu, real flu, well during the flu you have periods of feeling not so bad and then feeling totally shite and that simply is what it is like living with  Myalgic Encephalomyelitis. You know you are not, for want of a better word, well, but there are times when you feel okay, but never better. Which is exactly what it is like with flu, but with  Myalgic Encephalomyelitis you don't necessarily have the raised temperature, but some like me do have a slight raise and are prone to over heating or conversely getting very cold.  Like flu you also have joint pains everywhere, these can be controlled with painkillers, but you have to be careful that you don't become addicted to them. Like flu, there are those who become "poor me" and go for the sympathy thing, with I am too bad to do anything and when I do it takes too much out of me, or there are those who chose to say "When I can I will and when I can't I won't". There is one addition to having  Myalgic Encephalomyelitis that is not understood and most over looked and that is that it damages your emotional and mental health as it has with me. So not only does it fick with your body it ficks with your mind and heart as well. So yes I have periods (more that I can honestly put here) where I really crash and burn and I am totally dependent upon my wife when I go through them. I wish I could control them but I can't nor can I predict them for anything can make them happen. I know others who also experience this who really have  Myalgic Encephalomyelitis.

Okay so this same person said I see you on line early in the morning. Yes I am on line early in the morning, mainly pasting and copying and when I have done so, I will rest up for a few hours until the next surge of energy comes along. Yes, I do get up and make my IsisKitty her breakfast, because by doing so I am reminded to take my tablets and making a coffee for my wife in the morning might be the last thing I can do to help her. Not always, but most often than not, it is also the only time in the day when I don't have brain fog, although looking at my posts I see that words get missed or mixed up.  Yes I do go out, but only with Aly, my wife and if we go into town for shopping it for less than an hour and then I have to spend time recovering. Yes I have my camera and like to go out taking photos, many of these are done from the car, with me sitting down. If I did not go out then I would become a prisoner of  Myalgic Encephalomyelitis and this is not something I will ever allow. Yes I love my books and read them when my mind allows me to do so, this can be very draining and unlike in the past I can't read a book in one sitting as I used to do so.

The same person asked will I get better from  Myalgic Encephalomyelitis. I didn't correct them, as I knew what they meant by getting better and the simple answer is NO there is no recovery from  Myalgic Encephalomyelitis unlike CFS (as I've mentioned before many times). I had been fairly "lucky" with it in that some times I felt not so bad, almost to the point when I felt that I could fulfil my heart and return to work and support my wife and family. Yet bang this year  Myalgic Encephalomyelitis has firmly slammed that door shut for me and my "good periods" have decreased.

Now I do everything I can do to not to be the prisoner of   Myalgic Encephalomyelitis including changing my diet, for example only having home made bread and drinking Red Bush tea and having a balanced diet. Yes I have my choccy and treats, but why not. When the sun is out yes I do try and get out even if it is only in the car. I can never go out without Aly. There is little more I can do. So I am like the POWs in the war films always trying to escape to get back to a normal life, knowing if only I could get away it would happen. Never giving up and never accepting you won't do so, yet as we know from those films most never escaped and had to wait until the end of the war for release. For me the end of this will only come when I go to the millions of years and that I have now accepted.

So  Myalgic Encephalomyelitis you may be my prison, but I will never be your prisoner and never accept that I am.

And now I have to rest as this has drained me - so thanks for reading it.

Friday, August 25, 2017

T.Rex or Marc & Me a boogie mind poem

I can not really think that it was 47 years ago that I first heard Marc Bolan in 1970. I was just 15 years old at the time and couldn't have know that it was the start of a life long love. I remember the song so very well, it is etched into my soul, the song was White a Ride Swan. From the start I know that person who wrote it was someone very, very special. That person was Marc Bolan, he was 23 at the time, yet he seemed to me a far older wiser soul than that, one who had been here forever and would last forever. Just 7 short years later, not quite 30 years old, Marc was gone and I have never gotten over that. Marc had said that he wouldn't grow old, perhaps he sensed it better than we did, or perhaps we knew as well, but didn't want to acknowledge the truth of it.

I put the words of Ride a White Swan here,
 "Ride A White Swan"

Ride it on out like a bird in the sky ways
Ride it on out like you were a bird
Fly it all out like an eagle in a sunbeam
Ride it on out like you were a bird

Wear a tall hat like a druid in the old days
Wear a tall hat and a tatooed gown
Ride a white swan like the people of the Beltane
Wear your hair long, babe you can't go wrong

Catch a bright star and a place it on your fore-head
Say a few spells and baby, there you go
Take a black cat and sit it on your shoulder
And in the morning you'll know all you know, oh

Wear a tall hat like a druid in the old days
Wear a tall hat and a tatooed gown
Ride a white swan like the people of the Beltane
Wear your hair long, babe you can't go wrong

In these simple words Marc managed to weave a world full of imagination and full of promise, that if we only looked them.He was telling us that there so much more, we just had to look - I did and eventually I found me. 

For the next 7 years T.Rex were my world, the one that I felt safe in, the one untouched and still magical. Yet T.Rex were the band, it was Marc the wizard, the poet, who loved to rock, that I loved.  Marc might of thought we didn't listen to his words but we did we loved the boogie mind poems he weaved. It was our personal relationship with Marc and ours alone.

To be honest it is only now, all these years later that I am seeing things in Marc's words that I never saw before, seeing Marc as the show man, our god and the man he was -flawed and very human and realising that is was made us love him so much.

I have said that Marc Bolan saved my life many times in the past and I say it again here for it is true. He gave me the boogie mind poems to retreat to until it was safe to come out and face the world again. They are still there when I need them. Now however the need is less and the love and joy of them is more and that is what they should do. 

So on 16 September I will do what I always do cry a little and love a lot and thank those who gave us Marc and Marc for being Marc and if I am alive in 10 years time I'll still be doing the same, still riding that white swan in my zimmer frame.

Saturday, August 19, 2017

HandcuffsTruncheon and A Polyester Thong and a packet of crisps FOR GINA FROM HER FRIEND THE HUNGRY ONE

HandcuffsTruncheon and A Polyester Thong and a packet of crisps FOR GINA

Ere ave you eard
That Gina Kirkham
Wrote some book called
Handcuffs Truncheon & a Polyester Thong
It’s dead good read
I laffed so much I nearly peed
I read it in me bed
And my lass said
That’s the first time the earth has moved for me
This century
Well so I told Gina
Wrote it all over the tinternet
For the whole word to see
And a packet of crisps she promised me
It was there on my pc
But none have come my way
The postman says every day
So I thought I’d write this little poem
To make her feel guilty
Until the packet of crisps I see

For my friend with love

©merimaat 2017